New Year, New Life
by TStabler
Summary: On New Year's Eve, people are likely to make resolutions they can't keep. Those with more will power know that they have to change things, situations, and even themselves to keep their resolutions. Some of the NYPD's best detectives prove they have incredible will power, and that some resolutions are worth keeping.
1. New Truth

**A/N: Sometimes, a new year means things, and people, have to change. **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and all related plot/characters originally belong to Dick Wolf. This story, words, and dialogue are mine. © TStabler **

It's almost eleven o'clock as she pulls the shimmery silver dress over her head, and she tells herself she's fine with the way things are. She mentally tells herself that the last year of her life has been wonderful, that she's perfectly happy spending her nights with him, fucking him the way no one else ever has, would, or could...especially his wife. She takes pride in that fact: that she's the best he's ever had, that she's his ultimate fantasy, that she brings him to his knees and makes him beg and gives him everything he wants, that she lets him be dominant when he so desires and makes him submissive when she knows it's what he needs.

She tells herself that it's only been a year but she already knows him inside out and backwards, she knows how to make him laugh, how to make him cry, how to make him furious, and how to make him cum without even touching him. She knows how to make him cum in a thousand ways, and she tells herself it's because they've become so close so fast and their chemistry is undeniable and it doesn't mean anything else.

She slides her feet into a pair of strappy silver heels as she tells herself she knows exactly what they are, what it all means, and she doesn't mind that he goes home to his wife because she's knows, he's told her, that the woman is nothing more than a roommate and a status marker he doesn't even need anymore.

As she walks into the bathroom, she tells herself it isn't an affair. It's a partnership with the best fucking benefits in the world, but not an affair. They never get too personal. They never get comfortable. There's no pretense, there's no lavish gifts or expensive dinners, there's no guilt or remorse, there's no fucking affair.

They're professional as hell at work, she's cordial to his wife, she has become his kids' favorite person, and no one knows that when the kids are in bed and his wife is asleep and work is over that they fuck each other into oblivion and make promises to each other they're never gonna keep, and it's not a goddamned affair.

That's what she's been telling herself for the last year. That's the lie she's been forcing herself to believe.

One of the lies.

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, running her fingers through her shoulder-length curls one last time and she swipes her lips with smudge-proof lipstick once. She inhales sharply and checks her watch, and she lets the truth sink in.

She's going to the precinct party. She'll dance with a man that will get her attention for an hour or so and build up hopes of a hot night in bed with her. She will shoot him down and she knows why. "Elliot," she whispers with closed eyes. "Damn it."

She grabs her wristlet and before she walks out of the room, she sprays herself with the perfume he loves, that he can't resist, and she reminds herself of the resolution she's made for herself: one she assumes will be broken by the end of the night.

She grabs her coat and wraps herself up, heads out into the hall, and is almost in front of the elevator when it opens and the man inside steps off, looks up, and stares at her.

She freezes. Her eyes are glued to his body, the way his suit clings to every muscle, the way his tie hangs undone around his neck, the way he's staring right back at her. "What are you doing here?"

He doesn't speak, but he moves. His walk turns into a sprint and then a run and he slams into her and spins, forcing her into the hallway wall as he kisses her with more ferocious need than he'd planned. He grabs at her coat, swatting the wool away so his hands can find their way under her dress. "Fuck," he garbles as his lips curl and twist against hers. "You smell so fucking good."

She grins and then moans into his mouth, but is silenced when his tongue dives deeper, his teeth clink against hers, his paws dig into her thighs. "So do you."

He grunts as he pulls at her, dragging her along the painted plaster and over doors and knobs until they stop in front of her apartment. He's still kissing her madly, moaning softly, as one hand digs around in his pants pocket for his keys. He blindly feels each bit of cold metal, instinctively finding the one to her lock, and he jams, thrusts, turns, pushes, slams until they're inside.

She hears the door bang shut, feels his fingers pull her panties down, and she loses her resolve, though she's never had much to begin with where he's concerned. She whimpers, it falls onto his hot tongue, and she takes a shaky breath when he walks her back toward her bedroom.

He's still kissing her, speaking softly against her mouth but he knows she can't understand anything he's saying. He works his way out of his pants and pushes them down, kicks them off, and pushes her onto the bed finally breaking away from her lips. He stares down at her, licks his lips, and grins wickedly as one hand unbuttons his shirt and the other strokes his hard, thick, length.

She can't help the growl that escapes as she watches him strip and jerk, she feels how wet she is and she squeezes her thighs together, bites her lip, and tries to breathe.

He chuckles darkly, tossing the cotton in his hand to the floor and he narrows his eyes. "Dress," he spits. "Off." He works his shoes and socks off with his feet and he nods at her. "Now."

She tilts her head and toes off her heels, letting them drop to the floor one at a time. She scoots back on the bed, shaking her head, knowing that she's much better at this game than he is and she plays to win.

"Benson," he says in a low rumble, and he strokes himself harder and faster as he kneels onto the mattress. He reaches for her and with his free hand he pulls at her dress. "Off," he repeats, and he watches with widening eyes as she helps him lift the silver satin over her head. He gasps, seeing that she's gone braless tonight, and every nerve in his body ignites in intense flames as his eyes take in her tight, naked form. "Fuck," he hisses, "You are so fucking gorgeous."

She blushes but she hopes he can't tell, her face and neck are already red from his mouth's assault and her rising temperature. She smirks and crooks a finger at him, and when he crawls over her, she reaches up for him. Her arms hook around his neck and her legs loop around his waist, and she looks right into his eyes as he starts slowly pushing into her.

"Oh, my fucking God," he breathes, his head dropping back in pure ecstasy as his eyes roll and his hands claim her hips. He drops his head forward the minute his cock hits too deep to go any further, his pelvis pressed to hers, and he looks into her eyes. "So fucking perfect." He keeps his gaze on her, the eye contact intense, as he pulls back to rise back onto his knees. He slides out and thrusts in slowly and swipes over her clit with the thumb of his left hand.

She doesn't look away, she doesn't even blink, and her hips rise and roll with every slow and deep thrust. Her fingers curl around the sheets beneath her as she struggles to control how fast she rises to the brink. "Oh, my God, Elliot," she says on a gasp, the way his finger teases her clit as he moves within her is driving her mad. She hurls one hand upward and her nails claw into his chest as she begs, "Please, baby," her back arches. "Come here."

He can't deny her anything, he knows that, and he falls forward and kisses her slowly. "Liv," he whispers, and he starts to move faster, harder. "Liv, baby, tonight…"

"Oh, my God," she whined, her nails dragging down his back.

There's something different this time. Something powerfully different. He's trying to claim her, possess her, prove something to her.

"Baby, please," he whispers, brushing his nose against hers as he thrusts even harder, even faster. "I need you to know…" he pants, and he growls her name again as he feels her walls clench around him. "I need to tell you…" he grunts and slows his movements to power through her tightness. She's cumming faster and harder than she has and he's fucking proud and amazed. "Baby," his jaw is clenched and he's looking into her watering eyes. "Fuck, Liv... I love you."

She clenches around him harder, cumming again before she's even finished the first time, forcing him to stop moving. "Elliot," she screams and her back curls, her jaw drops, her eyes squeeze shut, her hands dig deeper into the skin of his back and she hears tiny snaps as she breaks it with her nails. She cries his name in a way she never has before, not until now, not until those words hit her ears and her heart.

"Shit," he spits out, and he drops his head to her neck, kissing and sucking at her rapid pulse as her body contracts. It milks him violently and he cums with a growl as he bites her throat and when it's over he licks the purpling skin as sofas he can, heavily breathing and waiting for his vision to return.

She pants beneath him, her hands splayed on his bleeding back, and her head lolls to the right, letting him continue his assuaging attack on her neck. Through her blurry vision, she catches sight of the red numbers on her alarm clock and she blinks once. "El," she whimpers, "It's almost…"

"Midnight," he breathes, he nods, and he lifts his head only enough to find her lips. He kisses her again and he tells her, "We're not going to that party. I need to be here tonight. With you." He brushes his lips over hers, along her cheek, sucks her earlobe into his mouth and nibbles, pulls and then lets it go. He whispers into her ear, "I made a New Year's resolution."

She weakly turns to look at him. She moans softly as she feels his cock twitch, still buried deeply in her, and she looks into his eyes. "What is it?"

He raises a hand and brushes the damp hair out of her eyes, off her face, and he places three small, soft kisses to her forehead and cheeks. "To stop pretending that this isn't real. To stop avoiding what I'm really feeling. To stop letting you go on dates and stop leaving you in this bed all alone in the middle of the night. To stop fighting this."

Her heart stops and she blinks once. She feels his dick throb again and her hips jerk up in reaction, making them both groan. She swallows and says, "That's more than one resolution." She takes a deeper breath. "Why?"

"I asked Kathy…" he begins, and he hates that he has to say her name while he's sheathed inside of his lover, "I asked her if she was happy. Turns out she was more miserable than I was, she's seeing some stock broker...she told me she's gonna leave. She's...she's leaving. I can't...I can't go on like this anymore. I can't. Because, baby... I love you. I am in love with you."

She blinks at him again.

He smirks. "Don't get me wrong, I still want to fuck you nine ways from Sunday and fucking drown myself in you every fucking night...but" he pauses to kiss her again. "I want to take you to dinner, I want to sit on the couch with you and the kids and watch stupid movies on Saturday nights and dumb cartoons on Sunday mornings, I want to hold your hand and buy you presents for no good reason other than because I fucking love you and I want to live...really...live with you, the way I want to, and the way I have wanted to since this thing between us started because it's never just been fucking, you have to tell me you know that."

Nodding, she believes everything he's just babbled at her and his rushed and whispered words register and resonate and carve themselves into the brick walls of her mind. "You…" she sniffles and realizes she's crying. "You mean that? All of it?"

"Every single word." His hot breath against her lips makes her shiver beneath him and he starts to roll his hips, slowly and gently. It's not rough anymore, it's pure love. "Say something." He stares down at her, intently focused on her eyes, and thrusts out and in and he waits.

"Happy New Year," she tells him. Her hands slide up to his face and she brings him to her. She kisses him and moans into his mouth and when she pulls away, she whispers, "God, I love you."

Relief floods him and he kisses her as he moves only a bit faster. In the first moments of the new year, he's completely giving himself to the woman who has won his heart, body, mind, and soul in the year they leave behind. He laughs, a sound of sweet happiness, and as he kisses her again, he says, "Happy New Year."

**A/N: Next: A NYE party takes an awkward turn. **


	2. New Normal

**A/N:A painfully awkward New Year's Eve party spurs some people to make better resolutions.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and all related plot/characters originally belong to Dick Wolf. This story, words, and dialogue are mine. © TStabler **

"What are they fighting about now?" Olivia asked the question almost under her breath. She eyed her partner, silently wondering why she agreed to come with him to Fin and Casey's party.

Elliot brought his beer bottle to his lips as he shrugged, sipped and swallowed before speaking, "I think they ran out of reasons and now they're just...shouting for the hell of it." He kicked his right foot up onto his left knee, scooted closer to her, and hooked his right arm over her shoulders. "Even at work...under all the fucking stress…"

"I know," she nodded, and she took the bottle from him. "We never fight like this." She flinched as the raised voices and harsh words hit her ears. Her eyes dropped and she began picking at the label on the bottle.

"Fuck, I don't even remember fighting like that with Kathy!" He cringed at something that was shouted, shaking his head. "And I have certainly never said that...to anyone." He shook his head disdainfully.

"If you ever said anything like that to me, I would kick your ass." She took a sip of the beer, made a face, gagged slightly, and handed it back to him. "Jesus."

He chuckled and knocked back another swallow of the brew. "I know you don't like the light stuff," he said. He turned and looked toward the direction from which the yelling was coming from. "They know they have guests out here, right? They know we can all hear...shit, every word they're saying?"

She shrugged. "Some people…" she cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, and the movement made her realize he had his arm around her. Her breath hitched momentarily, but she continued. "Some people shouldn't get married. At least…" she tilted her head. "Not to each other."

He looked down at her as he brought the bottle to his lips again, and before he sipped, he told her, "And some people belong together." He chugged what was left of his beer, set the empty glass bottle down on the coffee table in front of him, and exhaled dramatically. "Some people...are meant for each other and they, uh, they wouldn't ever…" he jutted his thumb to his left. "Do that."

The way he was looking at her made her shiver. There was something in his eyes that, though it had always been there, was more obvious. Clearer. Sharper. She nodded at him, her hands swiping down the front of her black leggings, and she looked away from him. "Obviously...it isn't them," she attempted to lighten the mood, shift the conversation, but she felt his hand slip from the back of the couch to her shoulder.

"Liv, I…" he began, but his words were interrupted by the arguing couple rolling into the room.

"Go ahead!" The woman stopped in front of the couch and spread her hands out, directing her adversary's attention to Olivia. "Tell her! It's New Year's Fucking Eve! Start the new year with a real bang, Fin!"

Fin grabbed her arms and pushed them down. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Casey?" he shouted, pulling her away from the sofa. "Calm the fuck down! You told me we weren't…"

"Oh, like they haven't been listening to us for the last twenty minutes!" Casey spat back. She shook her head and looked down at her hands. She ripped the diamond rings off of her left hand and threw them at Fin. "There! Now you wouldn't be cheating on me!" She eyed Olivia. "Unless you already are!"

Olivia's eyes widened. "Uh, what?" She looked from Casey to Fin, realizing, and said quickly, "Oh, my God! Casey, no! I've never even…"

"You fucked him when he was married!" Casey hissed, pointing at Elliot. "That it? You're so afraid of an actual fucking relationship that you just sleep with married men? Or is because you are so full of yourself you have to prove you can tear married men away from…

"Novak!" Elliot shouted, standing fast. "I never cheated on Kathy...Olivia wouldn't let that happen and I wouldn't do that to her! To her or Kathy!" He took a step forward. "And she's never slept with Fin, she wouldn't!" He looked around and lowered his voice. "Whatever the two of you are going through...it has jack fucking shit to do with me or Liv. I am chalking that up to you being upset and not having any fucking idea what you're saying...but if you ever say anything like that about her again, you'll lose two of the friends you have left."

Casey looked at him, blinked away the tears in her eyes, and nodded before walking away fast, out of the room.

Elliot turned to Fin and shoved his hands in his pockets. "What the hell, man?" He lowered his voice. "You got a thing for Liv, now?"

"No, shit, all I said was that…" Fin started, but he scrubbed a hand over his face and scratched at his stubble for a moment. "She accused me of thinkin' about someone else when I'm with her, and I said... I was being sarcastic, I said 'yeah, I have to picture Benson naked to get off' and she flipped! I was kidding, don't look at me like that!"

Elliot shook his head and narrowed his eyes. "You don't kid around about shit like that. You don't say that to your wife."

"You did," Fin retorted, folding his arms.

"One," Elliot raised a finger, "I wasn't fucking kidding. Two," a second finger popped up, "I was in the middle of getting divorced." He tried to hide the smirk on his face. "Is that what this is? You two…"

"It's over," Fin spat, and he gave a deep sigh. "Happy New Year, right?" He was quiet for a second. "Apologize to Liv for me. I'm...gonna go try to get her back here and...fix what's left of this fucking party."

Elliot watched him leave the room and then slowly turned his head toward Olivia. He took a few steps toward her, rubbing his lips together, and he smiled sheepishly. "You can relax, Fin doesn't really want to…"

"I heard you," she interrupted, and she ran her hands through her hair. She looked around, the other people in the house milling about and trying to make the most of the awkward situation. She shook her head slightly, turning to face Elliot. "When she said…" she paused. "I guess Kathy wasn't the only one who thought we were sleeping together."

Chuckling, he moved closer. "Hardly," he scoffed, and he bit his lip. "You know...I wanted…" he exhaled through rounded lips. He reached for her hands, taking them both in his, and he held them tightly as someone in the room yelled _One minute till midnight! _and popped the cork on a bottle of champagne. "God, I never cheated on her but, fuck, I know I wanted to." He swiped his thumbs along the sides of her hands. "With you."

She felt her heart pound faster and harder, his admission echoing in her ears, but she tried to play it cool. She laughed and raised an eyebrow at him. "You said it yourself, I'd never let…"

"I know," he nodded fast. "You... you know I never would have, I mean... I would have never cheapened anything that happened between us that way." He gulped, his mouth suddenly running dry. "Because something...needs to happen." He let his eyes trace the curves of her body, the seams of her white sweater, the angles of her ass and legs and he scraped his teeth over his lower lip.

"What?" The word was soft, a wispy breath, and she squeezed his hands again.

"Listening to them tonight, everything they were blaming each other for…" he shot a look over his shoulder in the direction that Fin had gone. Turning back to her, he said, "In three years...you have changed my life. You've...you've changed me." He dropped one of her hands and brushed her hair back, then cupped the side of her face. "We don't have secrets, we don't have problems. And when my marriage fell apart, when my life completely shattered...you were right there, helping me and the kids pick up the pieces. You put us back together and we are all better than we ever were before, and I think I'm finally ready to admit what that all means."

She inhaled and let her breath out slowly, it shook and trembled, and made her body shiver.

"Are you cold?" He took her hand again and moved against her.

She shook her head. "No," she said, and she let her head drop to his chest. "What...what are you saying?"

"Hearing the things Fin and Casey were saying...knowing that I could never even _think _any of it...not about you," he paused and dropped low, his head resting on hers. "They made me realize that what we have…" he moved and pressed his lips to her forehead. With closed eyes, he whispered, "What we have is something so fucking special. I don't want to lose this." He opened his eyes and peered into hers. "I don't want to lose you."

"Hey, we've had this conversation," she said, looking up fast and taking one hand out of his to slap him in the arm. "Partners for life. In whatever way...in every way." Her smile faded when she saw the look in his eyes. "El?"

He heard the others starting to count, drunken slurs of _ten, nine, _hit his ears. "I'm making a resolution, right here and now…" he pulled her closer to him. "We will never end up like Fin and Casey. Or like...like me and Kathy." _Seven, six. _He bent his head slightly. "I wanted to wait, to do this...when no one else was around, but shit…I can't." _Four, three_. "I love you," he practically cried, "I'm in love with you."

_Two_

Her gasp and wide eyes were her only reactions before his lips crashed against hers. Her eyes slipped closed as she moaned deeply, her hands wound into his short hair, she kissed him back with as much passion and emotion as he was desperately making her feel.

Years of friendship rolled through her memory like a flipbook. Every fantasy she had about him was reforming into a plan and a promise. She pulled away from him with a whimper, panting heavily. "I love you," she breathed. "God, Elliot, I love you."

He laughed through his harsh gasps, squeezed her tighter, and kissed her again. His hands dragged down her back, his large palms and thick fingers gripped her ass tightly, and he lifted with a soft grunt until he felt her legs wrap around his waist. He chuckled into her working mouth, moving them back toward the couch.

She laughed with him as they fell onto the cushions, her straddling him as he smoothed his hands over every single part of her body.

They knew there were people watching, staring, but they didn't seem to care. They had waited too long to find their way to each other, and they both resolved to hold on and never let go.

**A/N: Next: A drinking game on New Year's Eve leads to a few confessions that alter friendships and relationships in irreparable ways. **


	3. New Game

**A/N: A drinking game on New Year's Eve leads to a few confessions that alter friendships and relationships in irreparable ways. **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and all related plot/characters originally belong to Dick Wolf. This story, words, and dialogue are mine. © TStabler **

"What was that?" Elliot licks his lips and smacks his tongue, concentrates on the flavors lingering in his mouth. "Cherry?" He raises one brow and smirks at Olivia beside him, who's practically sitting in his lap.

She gives him a high five and a soft kiss. "You're good," she says, and the look in her eyes tells him that she isn't only talking about his impeccable skill with vodka flavors. She holds up a finger and nods at the bartender, and then she says, "Your turn."

He nods, then looks at the array of different colored shot glasses in front of him. He wraps three fingers around one, taps it lightly on the table, and then swings back downing the liquid in one long sip. He slams the glass back down and hasn't even finished swallowing when she kisses him.

Her fingers grip the sides of his face, her tongue rolls against his and swipes over his teeth and gums and she pecks him twice more before licking her own lips and saying, "Grape."

He chuckles and rubs his nose against hers. "Good girl," he whispers, and his hands slip down to her pants. The shots are kicking in and his inhibitions are nearly gone. He works one hand into her tight jeans, shoving far enough down to curve against her thighs, between her legs. He feels her heat, wet, bare, and he groans as he licks her lips slowly. "Very good girl."

She bucks her hips and she almost gets him to move one of his fingers into her, but the voices now surrounding them makes her shift backward. She looks to her left and winces when she feels his hand pull away from her completely. "You guys are late," she says, and she drops her eyes to the table. She looks at her card, "You have to catch up." She eyes her fleet of shots, grabs one, and throws it back.

He watches and waits and once he's sure he isn't going to choke her, he pounces. The kiss is rougher, deeper, as if he's proving something to the four people who joined them at their table. Maybe he is. He slides his hands down her back and moans her name against her lips before he says, "Apple." He lets his tongue swipe over her lips again. "Green apple."

She nods and kisses the end of his nose, moving back just as the bartender drops their next flights and their new cards. "Four to six," she says, and she winks at him. "Me."

Elliot laughs and situates his new shots in front of him. "Don't count me out yet," he says, and he looks up at the barkeep. "Four more, uh, please." He shares a nod with the man and takes a breath. "We can take a break while we wait for yours." He catches Fin's eye and says, "You okay?"

Fin nods and elbows his date. "This one told me the wrong place."

Melinda Warner holds up both hands defensively. "Charlie's, Chuckie's, Chompy's...I pull twenty hour shifts, I can't remember everything."

The group laughs and then Trevor Langan, finally settled in his seat, clears his throat. "As much fun as this little guessing game looks," he juts his thumb to the woman beside her, "I'm not kissing her." He turns up his lips a bit. "It would take something a lot stronger than vodka to make me."

Alex Cabot scoffs, crosses her arms, and says, "You asshole," and then shakes her head. "They play that when they're alone, they were waiting for us. This is gonna be your typical night of drunken confessions." She reaches for the box of game cards in the middle of the table, under the salt and pepper and hot sauce. "Your lips, thank God, won't be anywhere near mine."

The six share a laugh and as the bartender and a waiter lower rows of shots in front of the newly seated foursome, Elliot looks down at his card. It's a distraction, designed to convince everyone at the table that his hand isn't slowly inching its way back between Olivia's knees. "What the fuck? Pepper flavored vodka?"

"Chili pepper not black pepper," Olivia says, her voice not wavering at all. She inhales sharply when his knuckles graze her denim covered mound, and she slides her chair closer to him.

Melinda raises a hand and says, "Guys. I've never been here before, how does this work?"

"You pick a card," Elliot begins, pointing to the box in Alex's hands. "You read it, finish the sentence...and we have to decide if you're lying or telling the truth. If we're wrong, we take the shot. If we're right, you do."

Olivia continues. "Some of these questions get personal, so you can choose to lie to avoid answering. You'll get trashed faster that way, though." She moves some of the empty glasses to an unused spot on the table and she says, "Who goes first?" Her hand drops to Elliot's lap.

Fin eyes his shots and hums for a moment. "Alphabetical order?"

Trevor questions, "Last name or first name?"

"First name," Melinda says as she counts the empty shot glasses as Olivia moves them. "I think Benson needs a breather."

Again, the group laughs, and Alex chooses her first shot glass. She sniffs it, makes a face, and then checks her card. "Ew," she grimaces. "Grapefruit."

"Just fucking confess something, or lie and take the shot," Langan bites. "Jesus."

Elliot flinches, recognizing the bitter tone of a heartbroken man. This is his third attempt at getting Trevor and Alex back together, and final if it doesn't work tonight. He moans inaudibly, then, feeling Olivia's nails scratch up and down his hardened shaft, straining against the denim of his jeans. "Go ahead," he nods at Alex, eager to speed things along.

Alex takes the lid off of the box, reaches in with closed eyes, and picks up a black card. She tugs down the hem of her purple dress as she flips it over and reads. "Out of the people here now, I would most like to make out with…" she hangs on the last word of the prompt, she wags the shot in her hand, and she eyes Trevor for a moment. "Olivia," she says.

Fin eyes her and snaps his fingers. "True," he declares.

Alex shrugs once and she leans back and takes the shot as the people at the table gasp.

Trevor grunts.

Elliot chuckled. "What a coincidence," he says dramatically. "I also would most like to make out with Liv." He drops his smile and glares at her once she's swallowed. "Don't even think…"

"Didn't say I was going to," Alex coughed out, her face twisted in a displeased frown. "Just that I would." She points to him. "Your turn, by the way."

Elliot reaches into the box, and while he searches for a card, his other hand presses into Olivia. He can tell by the way she shifts suddenly that he's found her button beneath her jeans. He laughs to himself as he pulls his card out of the box. He flips it over and reads, "I once made someone…" he licks his lips and nods proudly, "Cum six times in a row."

Trevor scoffs and narrows his eyes. "Bull fucking shit Stabler.

Elliot darts his eyes toward Olivia and winks at her. "You're right, I was lying." He slides the box across the table to Fin as he says, "It was seven." He waits until the gaps subside and says, "Liv, pick for me."

She knows he's asking because he only has one free hand, but she plays along. "That one," she points to the glass in the middle.

He downs it without even looking at the flavor card and instantly, he glares at her.

"Pepper," she tells him wickedly, wagging her eyebrows at him. She turns and says, "Come on, Fin, play your card".

Fin turns the card in his hand over and he reads it to himself. "Oh, no, man. No way in hell."

"Dude," Elliot complains. "It's us, your best friends! It's New Year's Eve, besides, the point of this is to let go of all this bullshit before midnight and start over."

"Come on, baby," Melinda says, rubbing his back.

Fin blows out through bubbling lips and wipes his free hand down the front of his black shirt. "My favorite euphemism for masturbation is…" he groans. "I can't say this in front of my girlfriend, man."

Melinda eyes him and shrugs. "Mine is petting the cat," she admits in an attempt to get him to answer the question.

He looks at her wide eyed and turns to the group. "Okay, uh, I guess it's because of my job but…" he clears his throat. "Roughin' up the suspect."

Olivia and Elliot snicker, their hands teasing each other a bit more daringly, and Alex waves a hand. "We all know that was true, so.."

Fin takes his shot and passes the box to Melinda.

After straightening out her blouse and shifting in her seat, she fishes around for a card and instantly freezes upon seeing the words on the face. "Um…" she looks down, "Can I just take the shot?"

"Mel," Olivia rolls her eyes, and it's the perfect cover for the real reason, Elliot's teasing knuckles finally coaxed a soft but powerful release from her.

Elliot grins smugly as he rests his palm on Olivia's leg and says, "Come on."

"The last lie I told before playing this game was…" Melinda starts, and she takes a deep breath. She turns to look at Fin, ignoring everyone else. "I'll take the shot, okay? Just…" she breathes again. "I'm technically still married."

Fin's forehead crinkles as his eyebrows shoot upward, he tilts his head, he speaks. "What?" He licks his lips. "You told me he lives…"

"He does," Melinda interrupts. "He lives in South Carolina, he's with someone else...we just haven't finalized things, yet. I promise, I'm...yours." She looks at him with desperate eyes and she grabs one of his hands.

Elliot's fingers curl into Olivia's thigh, the conversation feeling too familiar for him. He feels her hand fall from his dick to his knee, the secret seduction put on hold out of respect for the serious turn the game has taken. "Fin, man, you should...say something."

Fin nods a few times, licks his lips, and says, "I can...I can live with that. For now. You are getting…"

"One more signature and a phone call with a lawyer," Melinda interrupts, promising. She grabs the first shot on her plank and downs it without flinching.

Trevor reaches across the table, grabs the box, and plops it in front of Olivia. "Your turn," he says, and he rests his head on his hand. "I can't wait for this," he laughs, his deep set resentment for Elliot and harbored desire for Olivia are creeping out in the dim, smoky bar.

Olivia closes her eyes and whips her hand around in the box for a bit before her fingers clip a card. She pulls it up, looks at it, and a low laugh escapes. She hands the card to Elliot. She watches his lips turn up, his eyes darken, and when he hands the card back to her she asks him, "If I tell the truth, they're all gonna think I'm lying. If I lie, they'll think I'm lying."

"But I know the truth," he declares proudly, almost arrogantly, and he drags a hand down the back of his neck.

"The best orgasm I have ever had…" she reads off the card, and then she tosses it away like a pro poker player and finishes it off, "Was when we, uh, had sex on Cragen's desk. That was...the best six orgasms I've ever had, actually."

"Oh, no way," Alex fumes, shaking her head. "You really expect us to believe…"

"Hand to God," Olivia spits out, raising her right hand. "It was the weekend he left Elliot in charge, when he and Munch had to go upstate to a convention." She grabs one of Alex's shots, holds it out to her, and said, "Drink up, Blondie."

Fin lets out an amused, "Oooh, burn," and claps his hands, "This game is gettin' good."

Alex, annoyed, yanks the box toward herself and then shoves it to Trevor. "Go," she barked. "Don't forget, I can tell when you're fucking lying," she hisses at him, her throat burning from the shot she had taken.

Trevor grabs the first card in the box, none too thrilled about it. He reads it, his eyes fall, and he says, "Shit." He shoots a look toward Elliot and starts to weigh his odds. If he's honest, Elliot will kill him and Alex will end things once and for all. If he lies, Alex will know and force him to tell the truth. He's caught between a rock and a hard place, and he takes one of his shots to build up some form of courage. "Ah, fuck," he grimaces. He clears his throat and says, "In the throes of passion, I accidentally called my lover...Olivia."

The table is silent.

Elliot pulls Olivia closer to him, almost as if he expects someone to take her away any moment.

Alex stiffens, stares at Trevor, and she starts speaking softly, but angrily. "No, you...you've never…I would have heard..."

"I wasn't with you," Trevor admits, his tone almost regretful. "It was...a while ago. I don't…" he takes another breath and he turns to face Alex head on. "I don't want her, okay? Not anymore. I did, for a long time...but Alex...it's been months. Months! One minute you're ready to marry me and the next you throw me out and tell me I'm scum, and I can't take it anymore." He rubs his lips together. "The point of this...stupid fucking game...was to prevent us from going into the new year with regrets and I don't want to do that. I don't want to regret...wasting my time with you, falling in love with you and letting my guard down and getting hurt."

Olivia looks away, burying her head in Elliot's shoulder, feeling almost voyeuristic.

Alex bites her lip. "You're in love with me?" she asks in a whisper.

Trevor nods, and he laughs in spite of things. "Yeah, I am. But I need to know, tonight, in the next…" he checks his watch. "Thirty seconds...if you're ready to cut the shit and fucking let me love you, and love me back, or if I need to let you go and leave you behind so maybe...next year...I can find a love…" he looks over toward Olivia and Elliot, who are now lost in a soft, quiet, vodka cocktail kiss. "A love like that."

Alex turns to look at them, she smiles only slightly, and she opens her mouth to speak, but the loud shouts from the bar patrons completely drown her out. She hears them all counting down, backward from ten. Her eyes dart over to Melinda and Fin, who are getting ready to blow into noisemakers and throw confetti at each other. She turns back to Olivia and Elliot, noticing their kissing is faster, harder, more frenzied, but she can see them counting against each other's lips. She shifts her gaze to the large TV screen on the wall, the flashing numbers in single digits, the ball almost reaching the bottom of the pole, and once the year lights up, she grabs Trevor and kisses him hard.

Trevor's arms wrap around her and he pulls her over onto his lap as he returns her eager and deep kiss.

Olivia pulls away from Elliot and once she sees what's become of Alex and Trevor, she turns back to him. "How the hell did you know this would work?"

"We play the games at this bar enough," he shrugs and he pulls her back to him for a quick kiss. "I memorized a lot of these cards, and I knew that it wouldn't take long for something to get under their skin." He kisses her nose. "Langan's a defense attorney, ultimatums are his thing."

She scrapes her nails through his hair, and she nuzzles him as she says, "Happy New Year."

He presses his lips to hers, winding himself around her, and he knows that they're all heading into the new year in the best way possible.

**A/N: Next: The sequel to "Six Christmases" (Ch. 17 - Underneath The Tree)**


	4. New Chance

**A/N: Six Christmases...also means six New Year's Eves...doesn't it? Hm. **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and all related plot/characters originally belong to Dick Wolf. This story, words, and dialogue are mine. © TStabler **

_December 31st, year one_

"I don't have one," Olivia shrugged, one arm crossed over her chest, the other bent as a champagne glass lingered near her lips. She looked around the swanky ballroom, shaking her head. The NYPD blew a good chunk of budget on this party, and so far, it was boring as sin. The only thing keeping her happy, at the moment, was Elliot. She turned back to him and said, "I really don't."

"Everyone has one," Elliot rolled his eyes and took a long sip of his amber drink.

Olivia chuckled and slowly drank some of her champagne. "Okay," she said as she licked her lips. "What's yours?"

Elliot blinked. He'd been so consumed by watching her mouth, his eyes on her tongue as it swiped across her perfect lips, he'd completely forgotten what his resolution was. "Um," he cleared his throat and discreetly tugged on his black pants. He couldn't explain why, or how, but in the last seven months, he'd been having lustful thoughts about his new partner.

Fantasies, really. Elaborate ones. They haunted him in his sleep, and now they were hitting him when he was wide awake. Visions of her kissing him, of those perfect lips wrapped around his dick, of her clit pulsing under his tongue, of her body writhing beneath his as he fucked her into abeyance, of her cumming over and over again.

"El?" She tilted her head and looked at him, worried. "Are you okay? You...you're pale, and sweating."

Her concern snapped him out of his dizzying thoughts and he pulled on his red tie before wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "Yeah, yeah, I'm…" he waved it off and downed the rest of his drink. "My resolution...this year, I'm gonna stop being afraid to go after what I want, and I'm gonna…"

"There you are!" A gruff voice shouted. A man in a grey suit wrapped himself around Olivia and kissed her quickly on the lips, then turned and held out his hand to Elliot. "You must be her partner," he said. "Michael Douglass, not the actor."

Elliot faked a smile and shook the man's hand, more determined than ever to start turning his resolution into reality.

_December 31st, year two _

"It's fucking freezing out here." Olivia complained, rubbing her leather-gloved hands together. Her breath puffed up in white clouds in front of her. "This is insane." She raised an eyebrow at the man next to her.

"At least you flashed your badge to anyone who'd see it to get us up in the front. If I had to stand out in the cold and then couldn't see jack shit, I'd make you pay. Dearly."

"I know you would," Elliot said, chuckling, as he

moved closer to her. "Well, I didn't feel like going to department party this year, the kids have all been asleep for hours, Kathy had no desire to come out here and meet me…" he wrapped his arms around her. "I knew you'd brave the cold and help me ring in the new year right."

She tried to back away from him, but when he pulled her closer and started running his hands up and down her arms, she caved and relaxed into him.

"Still cold?" he asked, his voice was like sandpaper.

She shook her head and took another shaky breath. "I can't believe you've lived here your whole life and have never been to the ball drop."

"I live in Queens!" he laughed, defensively widening his eyes. "Norm and raised in Bayside, you know that! My parents wouldn't drive all the way out here for this, and when I was old enough to come without them…"

"You were married with a kid," she finished for him, and then she said, "They do broadcast this on television. We could be in a bar, or something...where it's warm! And quiet!" She hated having to shout to him to be heard over the crowd.

He shook his head again and looked down at her. "No, we needed to be here tonight." He narrowed his eyes. "You're wearing the earrings I got you."

She bit her lip and nodded. "I put them on...as soon as you gave them to me. I haven't taken them off." She swallowed the suddenly formed lump in her throat.

He heard the crowd beginning their countdown. The numbers didn't register at all, because he looked down at Olivia and knew. He'd fallen completely in love with his partner.

_December 31st, year three _

The liquor had long ago worn off, the remains of their two hour shift at the NYPD party were scattered on the bedroom floor with their clothes. It was two minutes to midnight, and they were exactly where they wanted and needed to be to bring on the new year.

"Oh, God, Elliot," she gripped his shoulders, her sharp nails carving grooves into his skin. "Oh, my God."

He slammed into her harder, moving one of his hands between them and the other down the length of her thigh at his hip. He worked his thumb over her clit and hiked her leg up higher, made her hook it tighter around his waist. "Shit," he seethed, and he fell to her. He pressed against her and ground his hips, thrusting so deeply into her, grunting and moaning with each movement.

"El," she whimpered, her fingers still gouging a home in his shoulder blades. "Baby, please...fucking...don't stop."

"Never," he growled, his body rolling into and against hers. Every muscle in his body tensed and twitched. He couldn't love enough of her, he couldn't get deep enough inside her. "Never stopping, baby," he huffed and then he crashed his mouth over hers.

She clamped around him tightly, moaned into his mouth as her body locked his inside of her. The screams of his name were trapped by his kiss.

He let a low rumbling growl fall from his lips to her tongue and he shot off, his entire body clenching with every firing pulse. When he stilled, he slowed his kiss, moved his hands to her face and with the last bit of strength he possessed he grabbed her tightly and rolled them over. "Oh, God, Liv," he panted, brushing her hair back. "Happy New Year."

"Yeah," she laughed and nodded, her body still rolling in slow easy waves against him. "Happy New Year."

_December 31st, year four _

"You guys stuck around for the whole thing this year." Fin took a swig of his beer, one hand against his chest, over his black tie. "I'm glad you did. It's been a...pretty great night, huh?"

Elliot swallowed his mouthful of gin as he nodded. "Yeah, man, uh...something I gotta do when that ball drops, though." He smirked. "Make my night even better."

Fin quirked a brow, then turned his attention toward Olivia, eyes taking in how beautiful she looked in her shimmering blue dress. "You think Benson's seeing' anyone? I thought, maybe, uh... I'd make her part of my resolution this year," he said, swallowing back another sip of beer.

"Wow," Elliot huffed, but he quickly calmed. "She is. She's...she's probably…" he clothes throat. "She's serious about him."

"Well, he ain't here," Fin shrugged.

"He's working, Fin," Elliot spat quickly. "Ya know, like Cragen and Munch are back at the house tonight?"

"She's datin' a cop," Fin assumed. "Makes sense." He took the last sip of his beer. "What about you? It's been a while since your split. You still seein' that girl you told me about?"

" I am," Elliot smiled, checked his watch, and said, "We should head over to the window, make sure we get a clear view." He slapped his friend in the shoulder and chugged the last of his drink. He set the glass on the nearest table, let out a deep breath, and smoothed out his black suit. He ran a hand down his blue tie, the color identical to Olivia's dress, and he made his way over to her.

She eyed him, curious, when he silently hooked a hand around her arm and pulled her gently toward the farthest corner of the room in front of large window. As they moved across the ballroom floor, she could feel tension start to thicken around her. "What's the matter?" She looked around, noticing he'd dragged her to the only dark spot in the ballroom. "El, what's wrong?"

"Not a damn thing, baby," he said, tangling the fingers of his right hand with the ones of her left. "You ready for this?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "Ready to get called into work ten minutes after the ball drops because someone rang in the new year a little too violently?"

"No," he whispered, and he lifted his left hand to her, an open velvet box sitting on his spread palm. "For this, Liv," he turned his body toward hers as he raised their joined hands. "Baby," he waited until the tears blinked out of her eyes, until the voices around him shouted the final number. "Will you marry me?"

The cheers and yells of _Happy New Year _sang out around them. Noisemakers and clapping and hollers and honks filled the air.

She watched him drop her hand, take the stunningly simple diamond ring out of the box, and hold it between his shaking fingers. She knew why he'd taken her to the only part of the ballroom where no one could or would see them. "Yes," she said, nodding at him. Her quivering lips curled into a smile and she gasped when he grabbed her left hand and slid the ring onto her finger.

As soon as the ring pushed over her knuckle, he grabbed her and kissed her. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she sniffled. "Happy New Year."

"Fucking damn right it is," he laughed, and then he pulled her close for another kiss, knowing that no one in the room noticed his entire world shift and brighten.

_December 31st, year five_

"Are you…" Cragen stopped talking, his nostrils flaring as he fumed. "You're both out of your damn minds."

"We wanted to tell you...last week," Elliot stammered, stunned at his captain's reaction. "We got wrapped up in the Pearlman case, and then Choleric...this is the first chance we got." He brought Olivia's hand, wrapped in his, up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles, something he knew calmed her down. "I know it's...a lot to take in…"

"A lot to take in," Cragen bit, shaking his head. "Understatement, Stabler. Look, you tell me it's been years, so you've been keeping this to yourselves for that long, keep it to yourselves now, too." He held up a hand. "I don't want to know about it, I don't want to see it, you two…" he pressed his lips together and shook his head at them. "Benson, you're on a desk, STAT, and you," he pointed a sharp finger at Elliot. "You, too. Interrogations, interviews, and more paperwork than you can conceivably fucking handle, until she has this baby."

"Cap, honestly, we...we thought you knew," Elliot said, and he ran a hand down his face. "Are you…"

"You're lucky I'm not firing your ass for letting this happen and keeping it from me," Cragen snapped. "It's only because no one in their right mind wants this gig and we don't exactly have a waiting list of volunteers." He eyed Elliot severely. "Trust me, if we did, you'd both be cleaning out your desks instead."

Olivia scoffed, hiding her pain and hurt, and she ran a hand over her stomach. "Thanks a lot, Captain," she said with a hiss of absolute heartbreak. "Oh, and Happy New Year."

Cragen watched the pair walk away, grab their coats off of the chairs they'd been sitting in, and leave the department party without once looking back at him.

_December 31st, year six._

"All right," Elliot yelled over the chattering voices in his living room. "All right!" He laughed as he waved and wagged a hand. When everyone was quiet, he cleared his throat and raised his other hand, holding his champagne glass. "First of all, thank you all for forgoing the always-riveting department gala in favor of this nice, warm, house in Queens."

There was laughter, some light chatter, and then he chuckled. "Really, it means a lot to us that you're all here with us, that you've all gotten us through another year. And this one…" he turned and looked at Olivia, and then at the baby monitor on the coffee table. "This year has been a million different things, incredible and horrible, heartbreaking and exhilarating, we have lost people and we have been blessed with...a new little life that gave us more love than we thought possible."

Applause and "here here"s and "awww"s filled the room. He cleared his throat again and said, "You all...you all are more family than you are friends, and I know I speak for Liv, too, when I say...we love you, and we hope that this new year brings with it everything you want and need, and we look forward to sharing it all with you." He raised his glass higher as he nodded in toast, and he led the group in a collective sip of champagne.

"That was sweet," Olivia whispered to him, kissing him softly.

"I love you," he whispered, brushing his nose against hers. At that moment, as it usually happened when he looked at his wife, nothing and no one else existed. He kissed her softly, ran one hand through her hair, and said, "I love you so much."

She swooped her hands up his back, kissing him tenderly, "I love you, too, baby." She rested her head against his for a moment. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing, I promise," he chuckled, softly nipping at her lower lip. "I just...God, you, the baby...your mother, that bullshit with Cragen...this year has been a roller coaster. I'm just...making a resolution tonight."

She chuckled as she let her eyes give a dismissive roll. "You know they never stick," she said to him.

"Honey, uh," he scratched behind his ear. "This...our life...is a kept resolution. I made it...that first New Year's Eve, the year we met." He laughed softly at the bemused expression on her face. "I swore, that night, that I wouldn't stop myself from feeling...what I was feeling for you. That if anything happened…" he stopped talking. "You were with that asshole, Michael, for months and…"

"And you were married," she said dryly, raising her right eyebrow.

"And we still couldn't help it," he whispered, moving closer. "I fell in love with you, so fast. And it took another year for me to admit...that it was the greatest feeling in the world, that what I felt for you was something I'd never felt before and tonight, my resolution is that I am going to do whatever it takes to make sure you know…"

She kissed him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and moaned softly. She knew their friends and family were around, that they were watching, that their boss was a few feet away, but she didn't care. "I know," she whispered against his lips.

From a few feet away, Cragen was, indeed watching. He smiled, then turned slowly. He gave them the respect he'd been so reluctant to give them in the last year. "Happy New Year," he whispered to no one in particular, and he laughed to himself as the countdown started, bringing a new start, a new chance to get things right, and a new chance to be the kind of father-figure they needed. "Yeah," he said, turning back to look at them. "Happy New Year."

**A/N: Next: A new year's resolution gone wrong! Or...right. **


	5. New Resolution

**A/N: No one ever said you only get to make one resolution. **

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and all related plot/characters originally belong to Dick Wolf. This story, words, and dialogue are mine. © TStabler **

It has been twenty minutes since what she's dubbed _the incident _and she still can't breathe. She feels his lips on hers, tastes the remnants of his cold beer and something she thinks is a cigarette, but she knows he doesn't smoke. She's pacing back and forth, wringing her hands together. The knots in her stomach match the ones in her fingers.

With a single breath, she turns and looks into the mirror. Her hair is still perfectly waved except for the small part behind her ear where his hand had pressed to her head. Her eyeliner is still flawless and sharp-winged, she's proud of the immaculate blending of her smokey silver eyeshadow. The only part of her that is smeared and out of place is her lipstick, and she chuckles slightly at the thought of his lips being the same dark red now.

Another breath and she raises a hand to her cheek, where she can still feel the grazing of his scruffy beard. It must be months since he's shaved, maybe he hadn't shaved once the entire time he's been gone, and she reminds herself to ask him to buy a razor and rectify the situation. She smiles, then, and she swallows the nerves and the guilt and she pushes the million questions back into a black hole at the edge of her mind. She knows he's probably panicking now and she owes him the chance to explain himself, doesn't she?

A nod, one nod at her reflection, and she turns on her stilettos and leaves the bathroom, her body shaking harder with every step she takes that brings her closer to him. Her heels click against the wood grain of the ballroom floor, she feels the eyes of an ex-boyfriend follow her as she moves and breezes by him. She finally sees the target of her anxiety and she heads for him and takes another deep breath. El," she calls, her voice trembling and cracking, and she reaches for his arm.

He turns with an almost relieved smile, his pearly white teeth bright against his tan skin and shortly speckled black beard, and he twists his arm in her hold to wrap his hand around hers. "What, Liv?"

She swallows and looks into his eyes, and she lets him pull her closer to him. She gets a whiff of his cologne and she moans softly, remembering a million things that the scent triggers. "You...you didn't even say anything you just…"

"I thought kissing you would...say everything that needed to be said," he whispers to her. "I'm not sorry." He smirks, the stubble above his upper lip follows the curves of his crooked and seductive smile, and he knows it's making him look more like a secret agent or a superhero and he tugs on his tie with his free hand to prove it.

"What about…" she runs her fingers over his, and her eyes shoot down. His ring is gone. The gold band that had been encircling his finger for the entire time she's known him is gone.

"She left," he shrugs, and he laughs. "But we all know I was already gone. You'd be surprised how quick and painless a divorce can be when you're in the middle of an undercover op for the feds." He winks at her, but he sees the sadness in her eyes. "I'm home, and now that I am…" he moves closer to her. "I'm keeping the resolution I made last night. I think we…"

She interrupts him and her eyes are wider now. "The kids?"

He squints, licks his lips. "With her," he tells her; there's a spitefulness in his words. "For now." He squeezes her hand tighter and he tilts his head. "Now that I'm back, I'll get them every weekend...until I file for...something more." He shrugs. "We'll see what happens."

She nods, biting her lip, and she tries to smile. "I missed you," she says, and she can hear the cry in her voice so she knows that he's noticed it, too. "So...so much."

He pulls her into him, his strong arms wrap around her and he presses his lips to her forehead. "I missed you more than I think a partner should," he chuckles. "That's why…" he pushes away just enough for her to look up at him. He's only two inches taller than her, their noses touch as she tilts her head to him. He brushes them together and whispers, "Why I kissed you. Being away...being out there for the last few months...made me realize we aren't just partners. We...God, we never were, huh?"

She laughs and shakes her head, the action spurring the tears in her eyes to fall. "You said...you made a resolution. When? What?"

He presses into her, coaxing her out onto the dance floor. "On the flight home," he tells her. "I swore that...once I got back here, I'd make the move I should've made before I left." He smiles at her with a hint of menace in his eyes. "If I had, ya know, those phone calls could have been a lot more interesting." He wags his eyebrows and lowers his gaze. "You look incredible," he whispers. "I don't get to see you like this too much."

She blushes slightly as she lets her head wag back and forth as her lips curl. "Not really appropriate attire for gunning down bad guys and testifying in rape trials," she quips.

"But it's something you'd wear on a date," he states with a single nod, and he twirls her around once, making it clear that he's dancing with her. He pulls her back to him, presses his right hand into her back. "I think we need to go on a date. More than one. A lot."

She furrows her brows and she follows his lead, moving with him, and she asks, "Did you get hit in the head while you were playing super spy?"

He laughs but his answer is a soft kiss. "No," he tells her. "I'm trying to tell you…" he turns her fast and as the song ends, he shifts and bends, he dips her and kisses her again. "I'm in love with you."

They're frozen in place, a pose in front of their colleagues, friends, superiors. She doesn't move, she doesn't blink, she doesn't breathe.

"Liv?" It's a question laced with fear and nervous energy, and he pulls her up again. "I thought... I thought that you…"

She stops him with a kiss like no other, one that makes the fireworks go off early behind their closed eyelids, one that melts their souls and curls their toes, one that makes every single person in the ballroom stop and stare and fill with jealous lust.

When she pulls back, her breath is quick and heavy, he chest is rising and falling fast, and she's shaking in his arms. "I never...I never thought I'd hear you say that." She blinks and turns her eyes up to him. "I love you, too," she tells him, and her quaking hands slide up his arms and cup his face. "I love you."

He kisses her again, and he moans her name into her mouth. He knows everyone is staring. He knows they're all confused and puzzled because he hasn't told anyone except his ex-wife and kids that he's home. He knows some of them are angry because he's claiming Olivia as his, because he's marking himself as hers, and there's a list of people who were waiting in line for them.

She pulls away, out of breath, and she realizes he's literally lifted her off of her feet. She taps his arm and drops to the floor, and she asks, "What happens now?"

"This," he declares, and he pulls her with him, heading straight for their unit's table, his eyes set on their Captain. When he gets close enough, he hears their gasps of recognition and realization, and he waves at the people who are now smiling brightly in his direction.

"Elliot," Captain Cragen breathes in disbelief. He stands and tosses his napkin onto the table. He holds out a hand. "I was wondering...I didn't recognize…" he shakes Elliot's hand and clears his throat. "I wasn't informed you were coming back."

Elliot chews on the inside of his cheek. "Yeah, I wanted to surprise her," he jerks his head on an angle, toward Olivia. "You should know, before I get back to the house, we, uh…"

"I saw," Cragen breaks in, folding his arms. "I think the entire department saw you." He looks over at Olivia. "You know...this isn't exactly the best choice to be making." His eyes shift to Elliot's. "You know it's something you were warned against."

"It's not illegal," Elliot shrugs. He grins. "Spent a lot of time with Tucker recently, and, uh, we talked a lot about this." He looks at Olivia and can't help how his smile widens, how his eyes lighten up, how his heart pounds faster. "In fact, uh, the only things I talked to anyone about that weren't case-related were you and the kids." He turns back to Cragen. "So this isn't me asking permission, it's me telling you...you either have to deal with us being together…" he inhales and he knows it's part of his resolution and he needs to see it through. "Or there'll be transfer forms on your desk tomorrow morning."

"Elliot!" Olivia shouts, panicking. "No," she breathes and she pulls on his tie. "No, I just got you back! The last four months without you have…"

"You have me," he tells her, pressing a finger to her lips. "You have more of me than you did before, and I think we can work with other people as long as...as long as we go home to each other." He swipes his nose against hers and then kisses her softly. "I love you."

Cragen watches, and he hears every word. His heart and stomach battle for which can lurch harder and he brings a hand to his chest. "I'm not…" he pauses. "I'm warning you, both of you, the first time you bring personal shit into the house, or if you break up and expect me to play musical desks because you can't work together anymore…"

"None of that'll happen," Elliot tells him before his threat is complete. "I promise. I…" he chuckles. "I resolve." He brings Olivia's hand to his mouth and kisses every individual knuckle. "I swear on my life."

Cragen nods once. He knows that Elliot's serious. "Then…" he checks his watch the same moment someone else shouts _ten seconds _and he lifts a glass of water. "Make the resolution, Stabler."

Elliot moves, dropping Olivia's hand to take two champagne flutes off of the table. He hands one to her and takes a deep breath. "I already did," he says.

"Make it to her," Cragen orders, and he waits.

Elliot smiles he turns to Olivia, talking to her over the obnoxious counting. "I promise... to love you, the way I always have. To protect you, on and off the field, at work and at home. To always...always be the man that you need me to be, that you deserve. And I promise...I am never leaving you again." He wipes the fresh tears off of her cheeks with his available thumb.

She sniffles and leans close to him, her lips almost brushing his, and she says, "You never break your promises."

"Nope," he whispers as his own emotions start to rise. "Promise me…" he takes a breath. "Promise me the same things? Love me?"

"God, El, you know I do." She grips the glass a little tighter as she repeats his sworn resolution. "I promise, to always love you the way I have for...for so long. To protect and defend you, to be the woman... that you need me to be, and deserve, and I will never take another case without you." She drops her forehead to his. "Now, uh, taking one or two together is still on the table, right?"

Laughing, he says, "Of course, baby...always." He hears the crowd around him yell _one_ and he whispers. "Happy New Year," and he kisses her.

She loops her arms and her untouched champagne around his neck, deepening the kiss, making their shared resolutions more of a vow than anything else. She hears the people singing _Auld Lang Syne _and she smiles against his lips.

He grins with her, wrapping her tighter in his hold, and in the back of his mind he makes a new resolution for the next year in advance. He drags his hands down to her ass, cups and squeezes it, makes her yelp and laugh, and he knows.

It's a resolution that's halfway to being kept already.

**A/N: Next: a secret comes out on New Year's Eve that gets a reaction no one expected. **


	6. New Life

**A/N: When a secret comes out on New Year's Eve, it gets a few surprising reactions.**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and all related plot/characters originally belong to Dick Wolf. This story, words, and dialogue are mine. © TStabler **

"What are you wearing?" Alex Cabot's eyes drag along the body of Olivia Benson, her eyes are severe, her lips are curved in a disappointed sneer. "You told me you wanted to look hot tonight, but I didn't think you meant...literally." She flicks at the round fluffy ball dangling from the hood strings of Olivia's fluffy sweater.

Olivia rolls her eyes and folds her arms. "I went for comfort," she says. "No one here I need to impress, and besides, who says I can't make this sexy?" She turns to the side, giving Alex a quirky smile.

Alex smirks, seeing the way the black leggings do cling to her ass and legs. She shakes her head and then reaches over to smack Elliot's arm. "I blame you for this," she quips.

Elliot swallows the mouthful of liquor in his mouth. "Hey, I will take the blame," he hooks his free hand around Olivia's waist, his hand splays over her stomach and he pulls her backward almost roughly, kissing her as her head bends back to make it possible. "I can't keep my hands off of her when she's wearing a pair of baggy pajamas, so if she came here tonight in a short, strappy dress…" he chuckles and shakes his head. "You'd all see some real fireworks."

"You are drunk already, aren't you?" Alex spits, folding her arms over her own shimmering black dress.

"Maybe," Elliot returns, an arrogance in his eyes to match the cocky ness of his smile. He moves, smacks Olivia's ass hard, and leaves the girls to go mingle with some other guests.

"He's gonna get you in trouble," Alex whispers harshly to Olivia, pulling her toward the sidebar. "You know, he invited Cragen, and Kathy. They're gonna be in there, ya know! What if they already were? What if they saw that little...alcohol induced display…"

"Alex, please," Olivia winces and holds up a hand, the other toying with one of the fuzzy puffs on her sweater. "What are you...what are you doing?"

Alex picks up and puts down several bottles, pouring and mixing a drink that turns the color of cotton candy. "Here," she says, handing the short glass to Olivia. "Maybe this'll shock some sense back into you."

Olivia sniffs the drink and coughs violently as she shakes her head. "Jesus that smells like fucking antifreeze! And I'm not…" she takes a breath and coughs again, "Not drinking that."

With a disregarding shrug, Alex takes the glass back and sips from it herself. "Then I will drink myself into a state of blissful ignorance. Get yourselves fired, start a war with his ex, go ahead."

Olivia scoffs and gives Alex a shove toward the family room, where the party is, and she says, "We...are not getting fired." She bites her lip as they walk, part of her wondering if maybe there will be a war with Kathy, though. She swats Alex toward her own date, then moves to greet some others. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees another friend. Or former friend, rather. One who is in the middle of trying very hard to get Elliot's attention.

She excuses herself from the freshly mowed conversation with Munch, stepping over to Elliot, and as she completely ignores the woman talking to him, she whispers something in his ear.

His brows raise, and then lower, and he says, "Oh, really?" He licks his lips as he watches her nod, letting his left hand drag down to cup her ass while his right brings his drink to his lips.

She chuckles lightly and then, pretending she's only just noticed the woman who is now glaring intensely at them, she says, "Oh! Hi, Casey. Happy New Year! Glad you could make it."

"What's this?" Casey Novak points a finger at the pair, her face contorted in a grimacing scowl.

Elliot takes another sip of his dark drink. Under his breath, he laughs again, and his left hand circles and smooths over Olivia's ass, seeing for himself that she isn't, as she had just told him, wearing any underwear. "What's what?" he asks, playing dumb.

"The two of you," Casey says, and she tilts her head and puts her hands on her hips. "I'm gonna chalk this up to Stabler being three sheets to the wind, and you being too desperate for his attention to care that he's drunk."

"Woah," Elliot snaps, his hand grips into Olivia's ass as he pulls her closer to him, but his eyes and face are dark and threatening as he curls all but one of his right hand fingers around his glass and points the last at Casey. "I am not drunk, and she has my full attention...all the damn time. She's not the desperate one, here." He raises an eyebrow and watches unbothered as the redheaded lawyer mumbles something he can't hear and walks away. Once she's out of view, he turns with a smile and brushes his nose against Olivia's. "Now, why the hell would you come over hear and tell me…"

"Wanted to make sure she knew exactly what she was missing," Olivia whispers hotly, and her left hand slips down his body, nails scraping against him, until her fingers graze the very clear and prominent bulge between his legs.

"Don't," he warns, but it's half-hearted and he knows it.

She bites her lip, stares into his eyes, and lets her nails drag up and down, tracing the outline of his dick, and beneath her touch she feels him stiffen, grow, and strain under the denim. "And I wanted to make sure you didn't have any reason to give her what she wanted."

"You're asking for it," he laughs lowly. "You're gonna make me throw you up against the wall in front of all these people." He smacks her ass again, knowing that her thin, tight leggings are enabling his heavy hand. "Half of them are cops."

She shrugs playfully. "They can't arrest you in your own house." She leans closer, her tongue darts out, but before she kisses him, the front door swings open and Cragen's booming voice shouts a cheerful greeting that rings through the entire house.

Elliot feels Olivia pulling away from him, but he holds her tighter. He's stronger than her, he knows it. He's proven it once or twice.

She gives him a cautionary glare, but she relents and relaxes against him. She feels it the moment it happens, the instant Cragen's eyes land on them, and she bites down hard on her pressed together lips, hoping the man doesn't notice where Elliot's left hand is, or that he's campaigning to be the next Calvin Klein billboard model. "Hey, Cap," she says when he looks right at her.

Cragen tries to smile, though it's clear he's confused. "Evening, you two." He kisses Olivia's cheek and slaps Elliot on the back, and then he looks around. "Uh, the kids?" He narrows his expression. "Kathy?"

Elliot takes the last sip of his drink, swishes it around in his mouth, and then swallows. "Kids are in the den watching some show about dragons, uh...we'll get 'em before the ball drops." He nods once. "Kathy isn't here, yet. If she...well, she may not come at all."

Cragen's eyes screw together and he says, "I don't...I don't think I know what's going on, here."

"Divorce," Elliot says flatly. He quickly jerks his head toward Olivia. "She was the only one who knew when it happened so don't feel bad." He opens his mouth to say something else, but a fiery yell from the other side of the room stops him and garners the full attention of him, Olivia, and Cragen. "What the fuck?"

Alex Cabot, pink and blue drink in her hand, storms over and yanks Olivia out of Elliot's arms. "I got it!" She looks Olivia up and down again. "I know why you wouldn't drink this!" She holds up her glass and hiccups.

"Um, because I didn't think dissolving my esophagus was a particularly good idea?" Olivia crosses her arms and her eyes widen as Alex's right hand moves to her stomach. "Alex, oh my God, don't…"

"I know why you didn't wear that dress tonight," the blonde says with a grin. "Because it would hug every curve, and it would be so obvious…"

"Knock it off!" Olivia barks, and she knows eyes are on them, Alex is being loud and in her intoxicated haze, she's pulled Olivia to the middle of the room. Olivia lowers her voice and says, "Alex, please...please don't do this, okay? I haven't even told…"

"You know, if you look closely you can tell, even in this," she flicks one of the snowball puffs on Olivia's sweater, making it swing. She laughs, then, and she flattens her hand against Olivia's stomach. "This is so cool." She looks up and hiccups again, and laughs louder, and says, "I can't believe you're pregnant!"

"What?" The loud shouted question comes from the woman who just walked through the front door. It silences the entire room.

Elliot, his face frozen in an unreadable expression, blindly hands Cragen his empty glass and slowly moves toward Olivia. "What?" He repeats Kathy's question with less fury and more soft shock. His hands move to her hips and he turns her around. His eyes trace her figure beneath the too-large sweater as his breath quickens and his heart races. "Baby, are you...are you really…"

Olivia's brows arch as she looks up at him. Silently, she wraps her hands around his wrists and moves his arms, forcing his fingers to spread over her barely-there belly. Wordlessly, she nods, tears building up in her brown eyes.

He stares at his hands, at her stomach. He's still and quiet for a moment that is almost too long to mean anything positive. Then, his eyes slowly upturn and his lips tremble as they spread into a smile. The cry that erupts from him scares his guests, but he doesn't care. He lifts Olivia up into his arms and spins her around, kissing every part of her that isn't obscene. His joyful laughter rings and reverberates, and it's a sound no one in the room has ever heard before, which makes them start to clap and cheer along.

Olivia tries to speak between his frantic kisses. "I thought...you'd be...upset about…"

"I am the happiest fucking motherfucker alive right now," he interrupts, pulling from her breathlessly. There are tears falling freely from his red eyes, the smile on his face is pure and brilliant. "How could I ever be upset about this? Fuck, I wanted this! You know I want a hundred babies with you!"

She lets out a laugh of her own, ignoring her tears in favor of brushing away his, and she says, "I was gonna tell you when we were alone." She turns and glares at Alex. "I didn't want to cause a scene," she says through gritted teeth.

Alex innocently sweeps her eyes up and sips her drink, but Elliot kisses Olivia again. "I'm glad the drunk bitch caused a scene. This is...a happy fucking new year!" He moves to kiss her again, but someone taps him on the shoulder, hard. He turns, his lips still puckered, but his face falls when his eyes land on Kathy. He exhales and he tries to smile at her. "Hi."

"How is she pregnant?" Kathy fumes, her coat still on and her bag still clasped in her hand.

Elliot smirks. "I know it's been a while, but I think you remember that when a man and a woman…"

Kathy makes a grotesquely angry face and hits him in the arm with her purse. "Jackass! I'm serious!" She buffs and drops her arms. "We haven't even been divorced long enough to…"

"We were legally separated for almost six months before the papers were filed," he interrupts. Then he can't help it, he grins smugly again. "Honestly, uh, we could already have a kid, uh, if this would've happened the first time we…"

"God, I don't want to hear it," Kathy snaps. She shakes her head and looks away from him for a moment, and then licks her lips. "I thought you invited me here to tell me you thought we made a mistake."

Elliot shakes his head as he pulls Olivia back to him. He kisses her forehead, her nose, and then her lips. "Nothing about any of this was a mistake," he says, his lips still set in a soft smile. He eyes Kathy again. "You're here because I though we needed to try to be civil, for the kids. Blended families can struggle over the holidays, you had them on Thanksgiving, I thought tonight we needed to try to see if we could spend holidays together. I know it kills us when we have to do without them, and I know it gets to you, too."

Kathy swallows hard, rolls her neck a bit, and then spits out a soft, "Congratulations," before making moves to finally take her coat off and make herself a drink.

Before Elliot can turn to kiss Olivia again, he notices Cragen out of the corner of his eye. He's not amused, standing holding Elliot's glass with a scowl on his face. Elliot sighs and takes Olivia by the hand, leading her over to their boss. "Cap, uh," he starts.

"I heard," Cragen interrupts. "You...you've been together for almost a year?" He thrusts Elliot's glass back to him and squints slightly.

"Longer," Elliot admits, and he looks around nervously until he drops his glass down onto the top of the fireplace. "We didn't tell you because…"

"Because you know what it would mean," Cragen snaps. He inhales deeply and then shakes his head. "I can't... I know you hid it well, it didn't get in the way of the job any more than…" he tilts his head. "How long exactly?"

Elliot pales, knowing the truth would make it seem cheap and the lie would make it all seem too fast. "Cap, you know the way we felt about each other never affected us getting the job done. We have always taken more risks, fought for each other more than we should...we've always put each other first. Us being together in a...a lot of different ways, now, didn't change a damn thing at work."

Cragen sighs again. "It's New Year's Eve, so I won't put a damper on the evening. However, this is serious and in her, uh, condition…" he looks over at Olivia. "You can't be out in the field. You know that."

Olivia exhales but says, "Yeah, I figured I'd have to play desk jockey for a while." She bites her lip. "But what does that mean for…"

"Well, with you out of commission, I can't really afford to fire him," Cragen says, though it's hard to tell if he's serious or joking. He looks at Elliot and points a finger, lowers his eyes and his voice. "I find out you ever do anything to hurt her, you won't need to worry about getting fired because you'll be on permanent disability." He shakes his head. "I'm not blind, I knew something was going on, but I'm not gonna stand by and watch you two play games. You are planning on raising the kid together, right?"

"Yes! Jesus! This wasn't an accident after a one night stand, Cap!" Elliot wipes the back of his hand over his forehead. "I think I made it pretty damn clear that I love her and this baby…"

"Baby?"

Elliot and Olivia turn and smile at the four little bodies that have walked into the room. "Uh, yeah, guys." He laughs, his joy impossible to ignore, and he kisses Olivia sweetly before looking at his other kids. "We're having a baby."

Kathy holds her breath, unsure of how the children will take the news and praying it isn't as horrible as she thinks it will be.

Cragen's eyes are glued to the kids, and he promises himself their reaction will dictate his decision.

Dickie is the first to move, laughing as his little body hurls into his father's. The other kids follow almost immediately, two of them running for Olivia first, and the the two bundles become one.

Elliot wraps himself around Olivia, the four children hugging them both, laughter and tears spilling between them.

Cragen watches as Elliot kisses Olivia and then presses his lips to the top of each young head, and he smiles. He moves, knowing he's interrupting, but he has something he needs to say. He rests one hand on Elliot's shoulder, the other on Olivia's, and he says, "Congratulations." He looks at Elliot and says, "Promise me you won't…"

"Cap, I'm gonna make the same promise to you that I made to her and my kids," Elliot says. "I'm never gonna do anything to hurt my family." He drops his eyes to meet Olivia's. "Never."

Cragen takes his word for it, and he exhales as he slaps Elliot's back. "Happy New Year," he says. "To all of you." And he moves, backing away and pulling out a cell phone, needing to make a phone call that will ensure that the new year will absolutely be happy.

**A/N: I do have one more planned, but in case it doesn't get posted on time, I wish you all a very Happy New Year! Bring on 2020! **


End file.
